Recapping the Mascot's All Star Game

The Major League Mascot All Stars and Minor League Mascot All Stars competed in their All Star game last night. Swing and a Long Drive and IRONPIGPEN were able to sneak into the game that was played behind closed doors. For a recap of the first 4 innings, visit IRONPIGPEN: The Pork Stops Here!

In the first half of the game, Muddy, the Minors' cleanup hitter, pointed his bat to the stands a la Babe Ruth. He hit a home run, giving the Minors a 6-0 lead. They held the lead until the eighth inning.

After Billy the Marlin was knocked out of the game, Lou Seal was able to mop up in relief.

Paws, the Minor League Mascot's starter, had a no-hitter through 7.2 innings. However, on the first pitch to The Bird, the umpire noticed that Paws had been doctoring the ball, something he had mastered. He was immediately ejected from the game. He argued with the umpire. To support the call, the San Diego chicken gave the umpire an eye exam, which he passed, proving the call was correct.

Champ, Scranton Wilks-Berre's pitcher, came in to relieve Paws. The MLB Mascots called the Los Angeles Angels' rally monkey. The Bird and The San Diego Chicken each drew a walk. Youppi singled for the MLB Mascot's first hit. It was a slow roller to right, but despite his speed, The Bird was held at third base because of Muddy's gun for an arm.

The Phanatic followed with a grand slam! It became 6-4. Mariner Moose hit a two-run homer before Champ struck out Mr. Met to end the inning.

Stomper came in during relief for the MLB Mascots, trying to keep the game tied at 6. He did the job. He loaded the bases for Ferrous. Ferrous' girlfriend was in attendance, however they hid them from each other since she makes him nervous. Ferrous finally saw Fe Fe, and became nervous. He struck out with the bases loaded.

The game looked to be headed into extra innings after the Minor League Mascots got two easy outs. On a full count, the San Diego Chicken launched one to deep left field. Woll E. Bull leaped at the fence. It went over his glove for a walk off home run. MLB Mascots won, 7-6.

The chicken clucked around the bases only to be mobbed by his mascot buddies. A dog pile formed, looking like a pile of toys that a toddler forogt to pick up.

The seven run deficit was the biggest comeback in Mascot All Star history. The MLB All Stars planned to dine at KFC for a celebratory dinner. The San Diego Chicken declined the invitation, spending the rest of the evening with his family.

The Mascot's Game didn't actually happen.


Anonymous said...

We want a rematch next year!

Anonymous said...

Um... that's be a six run deficit. And this is the most retarded article I've ever read.

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