Survivor: Mets Edition

In order to make money to help pay for their new stadium, the New York Mets agreed to do a reality show to help pay for funds. The show-- Survivor: New York Mets Edition-- is schedule to air on SNY at the end of the season.

Originally, none of the players agreed to do it, until it was decided that the winner would get traded. Once David Wright heard this, he was on a mission. He wasn't about to win a championship in New York, so why not win this tournament.

Wright thought everything through. He was smart enough to know that performance enhancing drugs weren't going to work; it'd just lead to disqualification. He researched hard, and hired a team of professionals to create a plan.

Before the season started, Billy Wagner, Angel Pagan, and Tim Redding were already on the disabled list. David knew they weren't a threat anyway, but it still helped. Not much happened in April, other than Brian Schneider straining a muscle. One player gone wasn't enough for David, so he fired the crew that he had been working with.

"Hmmm... injury," David mischievously thought regarding Schneider. He did not want to hurt his teammates. He knew he'd feel bad, but it was the only way he'd be able to seek victory, and a new ballclub. He looked toward his own, the Mets athletic training staff.

"I have to win this thing! I'm already trying my best to get traded by not hitting home runs! This is my only hope. I need you guys to help me out," David said to Ray Ramirez, the head of the training staff.

"I don't blame you for wanting to go. We already know what the outcome is," Ray replied.

"Okay, I wa--" David was cut off.

"On one condition. You must give me $100 for each player that goes down."

"Deal."

"Just tell me who you want voted off Citi Field first?"

The answer was easy, Oliver Perez. He never returned to his 2004 form when his ERA was under 3.00 with the Pirates. Fed up with his 7.03 ERA, David wanted him gone. "He's so unpredictable. I'm so fed up with this 'Good Ollie,' 'Bad Ollie' bull. Just be good for crying out loud!" Next thing ya knew, Perez was on the DL with knee tendinitis.

The DL grew. Carlos Delgado (hip), Alex Cora (thumb), and Ryan Church (hamstring) were added. But the Wright's biggest competition was still on the island; Jose Reyes. Wright was always good buddies with Reyes. They'd pose for magazines together, they'd dance in the dugout. Many thought they were soul mates.

But David was always jealous that he didn't have a fancy chant for when he stepped to the plate. Reyes was the most popular Met and the favorite for the competition, and David wasn't down with that.

David had a serious talk with Ray, and soon enough, Reyes was placed on the disabled list. Just when Reyes was about to return, the training staff "forgot" to stretch out Reyes during a rehab assignment. First calf tendinitis, now a hamstring injury.

And the DL grew. Once a guy returned, another one fell down. Ramon Martinez, J.J Putz, John Maine, Fernando Martinez, Fernando Neive and Gary Sheffield were on put on the DL.

Even after Church returned, Wright convinced Omar Minaya to trade him to Atlanta because he felt that Jeff Francouer would be a better "fit for the team." In other words, less competition for David.

But David wasn't done. The season far from over, players were becoming closer to returning. Tired of seeing the instant replay of Luis Castillo dropping a ball that would have ended the game, David placed a banana peel on the dugout step. Castillo tripped over it, and was significantly hurt.

The next day, Jon Neise left the game because he was injured. He's done for the year. Sheffield was just coming back, and he left the game because of another injury. The Mets are dropping like flies.

The Mets have used 47 different players this year. "Wright" now, David is currently the leader of Survivor: New York Mets edition.